A Quick Q&A With Intimacy and Relationship Coach Tracy Ziman Jacobs

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Darlings, today I have a special treat for you. I sat down with local intimacy and relationship coach, Tracy Ziman Jacobs to chat about all the things couples are too afraid to discuss. 

1.       You studied to become a social worker, why is that? 

I actually always wanted to be a Nurse, as a young child. Until I heard I would need to wipe up people’s vomit and other mess. I then had a great yearning to be a Nursery School Teacher until I heard I would need to go “back to school” in order to qualify as a teacher. The next best option was the combination of both…Social Work! This profession covered so many of the areas of "healing" and “helping" that I knew I needed to do as a career. I have always wanted to make people’s lives easier in some way or another. 

2.       What exactly does an intimacy and relationship coach do?

An I & R C helps the clients to connect using heart, body and soul elements. Techniques, such as massage, breath work, and expansion work, are taught. However, the client also engages in talk therapy as I get a sense of what the client needs in order to reach more intimacy within the relationship. This work also includes individual and couples counselling. I conduct workshops for women, wanting to discuss issues with other like-minded women, in an intimate and safe place. 

3.       Do you get joy out of your work, helping couples reach new levels of intimacy in their relationships?

I get great joy from the work I do. I especially enjoy seeing how a couple begins to recognize that new possibilities are available for them. I enjoy offering my clients a safe space in which they can express themselves, verbally, and explore a side to themselves that they never thought possible.

4.       Is there a prevalent issue that you notice most couples go through when it comes to their relationships? 

There comes a time in couple's marriage, and of course, I am generalizing, when things become a little staid. Usually around the 7-year mark, after the couple have had a child or 2. The first thing that disappears, is the intimacy. The couple stop connecting and they begin to become like ships passing in the night. Money, both too much and too little, has a big impact on a marriage. Health issues and general LIFE that couples encounter along the way cause stress on the relationship.

5.       Do you do one on one sessions with each partner in the relationships you work with?

I encourage as much transparency between couples as possible, especially in this line of work. I would discourage individual sessions UNLESS it would benefit the therapeutic process. I would make sure that there is mutual consent at all times, even if consulting with another practitioner for advice.

6.       What would you say to couples who need assistance but are either too afraid or ashamed to ask for help?

It takes a lot of strength of character to admit that your relationship may need some attention. It’s important to revisit your marriage every few years. Just like you update your wardrobe, you update your car or your television, so you need to update your relationship. Put aside your pride and focus on your future together.

7.       Do you do pre-marriage counselling as well?

Now I do! (Laughs) Honestly, I have been trained as a Prepare/Enrich Counsellor through Family Life Centre, but I don’t follow their 6-week program. 

8.       Lastly, do you have any inspiring words for new and old couples alike?

When you find the right person with which you wish to become intimate, and the time is right, remember that… If it’s NOT absolutely delicious, then you're doing it wrong! Coition should be fun. It should not be surrounded by guilt, shame and taboo. Within the boundaries of a trusting and loving relationship, the skies are the limits to where you and your partner can travel.

by Shenise

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